Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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