I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
