Screwed.edu
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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