I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
