"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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