well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
They left me at home... I'm a liability
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
