i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
