Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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