Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
