I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize