I feel great
I just peed on a car
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
not ubering you a puppy
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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