Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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