fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize