So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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