accomplished twins. life is a go
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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