my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
