You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
