I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
grandma shit on top of the toilet
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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