i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
