I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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