This show inspires me to have sex in space
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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