Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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