so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
