oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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