Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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