Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
