your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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