the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
