He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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