i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
