Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We had sex on a dog bed..
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
