I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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