Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
