Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
whose parrot is this?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.