she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
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We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.