One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..