There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
