he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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