she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
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scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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