I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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