would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
