Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
