We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
