I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
