glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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