i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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