good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
honey bunches of taint.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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