turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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