North Korea, Best Korea!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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