I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
