wat bout pragnant strippers??
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize