Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
