so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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