Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
