The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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