Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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