glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
