I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
