I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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