if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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