i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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