so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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