Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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