Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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