I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
