I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
