He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
