Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
