i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm both gender and math confused
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
