is your mom at the bar?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
