Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
